Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
