she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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