If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
