Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
