butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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