so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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