I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
