You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
