I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
