Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
