are you still at the devil's house?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I fill condoms, not promises.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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