That's intense
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
