Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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