I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
