I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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