"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
