she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
