and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
