If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
