I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
