He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
