WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
