Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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