guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
