I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
