At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize