White coat. Heels.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
