Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
