Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
