I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
