The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
