On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Drake has all the answers
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
