so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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