My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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