I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
