with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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