Welp...herpes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
