It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
