So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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