I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
