I'm drive I can fine osifer
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
