my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
