i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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