Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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