Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
