So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
