dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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