Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
