he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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