The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
